Ageism, It’s Plain Ugly


prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person’s age.

Let’s be honest, there is no better to way to describe ageism but as plain ugly, and for many engaged in sex work, they too are no strangers to the ageist attitudes of those ugly enough to inflict it.

Sex work is complex delicate work that nurtures the souls of those that seek out the services of providers gracious enough to that provide what they need. A delicate nurturing of mind, body, and soul, so it’s no wonder that those who become attached to their provider, stick with them for a very long time. Over the course of that relationship factors that usually dictate otherwise are obvious, retirement, an address change to a new city or location, and in many circumstances, even death. Just to name a few.

Sex work is an industry that has nurtured a youthful appearance towards sex and sexuality, in favour of overlooking the fact, the population ages. That sex is only for and had by the physically young, which begs the question; what of the young at heart, mind, and soul? Bonds between a client and provider are forged in steel and for those that are willing to go that extra mile, these bonds can be everlasting.

Most dedicated sex workers I know, are of the same belief, and whether or not they are still providing any services, still maintain some form of communication with their client. You see we don’t “exit” the industry; the rhetoric used by many NGO’s when addressing sex work related issues, to have us leave the life and get a “normal” moralistic job as dictated by many of these groups. Just so you know, we actually don’t truly retire, we step back a bit, to lend a helping hand, have our voices heard, our words reads, offer support, fight in the front lines of activism, and yes, see clients.


Beyond that, why are so many of us still with our arms outstretched? Well if one thing this industry has taught many of us, and should teach everyone, is compassion, empathy, love for our fellow human beings. Many of us have stories to tell of the good, the bad, and downright ugly. We nurture positive relationships from the seeds of life, sown with the hope of growing into a beautiful bright future. So of course clients grow with their provider they’ve grown to trust, grow with their interests, grow with their relationship, and heavens forbid, grow old.

Those folks out there imposing their unwelcome beliefs are nothing short of rude with their narrow minded ideology. Caught up in a mean spirited and strange world of denial that is severely limiting to no one, other than themselves. A negative ideology belched forth by those who reap what they sow. An ideology that comes even from those within the sex work and worker community.

Ageist behaviour is no different than bullying, teasing, body shaming or any other malicious infliction upon the character of another well meaning person. It’s downright shameful behaviour that easily paints a picture of the perp’s true self!

Those that know, the world of sex work is limitless, full of opportunity, beauty, life, love and happiness, full of growth. Limitless, even if that means growing old as a provider, or as a life long friend with no boundaries of the beauty to give, and receive.

I look forward to the days when I can sit in my old age, and yet still remain true to myself, as a domme, and as a sex worker.


Sexy This Week: Eye Contact

stw blue eyes

It’s not hard to understand why we as human beings are so frustrated with today’s society of go go go at 100/kmh into a brick wall. We are slowly being programmed into believing we have to go faster and faster to get things done, things we don’t even remember or at many times know why we even are doing them!

Bad-phone-serviceTo top it all off, everything is slowly becoming automated making the need for human beings to do the work obsolete! More people with less jobs to do because of automation. How does that work? Take for instance recorded messages, press 1 for complaints, press 2 for grief, press 3 for just because we want to piss you off, press 4 to blow up this recording! Not hard to understand why most press 0 to bypass it all to get to a “real” person.

Along with this we are losing our ability to properly communicate with people when we are not on the phone, out in the actual world doing things, things like living. When we are communicating it is in the form of short quick vocal bursts with no eye contact being made, always or usually looking off into space or down at the ground. Why? Who knows, my suggestion is to look up, face whoever it is and look into those eyes. Making eye contact, that’s what’s sexy this week. (more…)