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Ageism, It’s Plain Ugly

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age·ism
/ˈājˌizəm/
noun
prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person’s age.

Let’s be honest, there is no better to way to describe ageism but as plain ugly, and for many engaged in sex work, they too are no strangers to the ageist attitudes of those ugly enough to inflict it.

Sex work is complex delicate work that nurtures the souls of those that seek out the services of providers gracious enough to that provide what they need. A delicate nurturing of mind, body, and soul, so it’s no wonder that those who become attached to their provider, stick with them for a very long time. Over the course of that relationship factors that usually dictate otherwise are obvious, retirement, an address change to a new city or location, and in many circumstances, even death. Just to name a few.

Sex work is an industry that has nurtured a youthful appearance towards sex and sexuality, in favour of overlooking the fact, the population ages. That sex is only for and had by the physically young, which begs the question; what of the young at heart, mind, and soul? Bonds between a client and provider are forged in steel and for those that are willing to go that extra mile, these bonds can be everlasting.

Most dedicated sex workers I know, are of the same belief, and whether or not they are still providing any services, still maintain some form of communication with their client. You see we don’t “exit” the industry; the rhetoric used by many NGO’s when addressing sex work related issues, to have us leave the life and get a “normal” moralistic job as dictated by many of these groups. Just so you know, we actually don’t truly retire, we step back a bit, to lend a helping hand, have our voices heard, our words reads, offer support, fight in the front lines of activism, and yes, see clients.

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Beyond that, why are so many of us still with our arms outstretched? Well if one thing this industry has taught many of us, and should teach everyone, is compassion, empathy, love for our fellow human beings. Many of us have stories to tell of the good, the bad, and downright ugly. We nurture positive relationships from the seeds of life, sown with the hope of growing into a beautiful bright future. So of course clients grow with their provider they’ve grown to trust, grow with their interests, grow with their relationship, and heavens forbid, grow old.

Those folks out there imposing their unwelcome beliefs are nothing short of rude with their narrow minded ideology. Caught up in a mean spirited and strange world of denial that is severely limiting to no one, other than themselves. A negative ideology belched forth by those who reap what they sow. An ideology that comes even from those within the sex work and worker community.

Ageist behaviour is no different than bullying, teasing, body shaming or any other malicious infliction upon the character of another well meaning person. It’s downright shameful behaviour that easily paints a picture of the perp’s true self!

Those that know, the world of sex work is limitless, full of opportunity, beauty, life, love and happiness, full of growth. Limitless, even if that means growing old as a provider, or as a life long friend with no boundaries of the beauty to give, and receive.

I look forward to the days when I can sit in my old age, and yet still remain true to myself, as a domme, and as a sex worker.

OOXXX

A Playful Flirt and a Giggle

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A playful flirt and a giggle, that’s what’s sexy this week.

Human interaction is super important, interaction of the positive kind. Forget the stalkers, sleazebags, and despicable low-lifes who truly only deserve a baseball bat upside the head for a little tune-up. No I’m talking about the attention from playful fun when one is out and about, that comes from innocent friendliness.

Innocent is the key word here, since many interpret these actions as seduction. Misinterpretations made by people who don’t have the skills to know the difference, as it shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out.

Over a coffee with my girlfriend Brit, a sassy buxom blonde, I sat and listened as she told me of her exploits while on her last holiday. Exploits I realized, are not far off from my own when I’m out in the world. What we also agreed on was the fun that came from a playful compliment, or a flirt. Fun that we both knew wasn’t going to go anywhere except validation as the people we are. Gregarious, life loving gals, who dress-up for every occasion including a trip to the laundry room!

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The Art of Casual Conversation with a Stranger, for Sexy This Week

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The art of casual conversation with a stranger, that’s what’s sexy this week.

Actually, it’s more like the lost art of casual conversation, and all a person needs to do is look around themselves once they’ve unglued their faces from their phones. Those little devices we’ve wired ourselves to the world with, the electronic annoyance that has become for many, a buffer from actual connection to the land of the living.

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The Pretty Little Leaf

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The Pretty little leaf is what’s sexy this week!

There I was, shit, showered and shaved, dressed and ready for the day, over my morning anxiety with my “kick ass” attitude dialed in at a level ten as I went out the door to face the day. My clothes perfectly coordinated of complimentary colours, matching jewelry, makeup applied with the precision of surgeon, and my hair all neatly hot-rollered and set. I was ready! With chin held high, shoulders back, tits out, and stomach in, I walked to the bus stop to patiently wait with all the other morning riders.

On the bus, I made myself comfortable for the 15 minute ride to the skytrain reading the morning paper as we rode over the bumps and potholes that dotted the downtown streets of beautiful Vancouver; the city I call home. The bus’s arrival at the skytrain always greats me with a certain amount of irony, its the skytrain, but at this juncture it runs underground. It always gives me a brief moment of contemplation as I descend to the train’s platform quietly crop dusting as I make my way deeper into the ground.

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Tidbits: Take Life By The Balls

Take Life By the Balls

Up for a few words of encouragement?

I am, we all know that life has it’s up’s and down’s and we do whatever it is to cope on a daily basis. For me it boils down to a few things, confidence and courage, courage to take what life has to offer, and the confidence to enjoy what it has to offer.

Cause ain’t life grand?

It surely is, and I question why more folks aren’t enjoying what it has to offer, stopping to smell the roses, seize the day, take the reigns, shit and get off the pot, or quite simply TAKE LIFE BY THE BALLS! Yes that’s it, TAKE LIFE BY THE BALLS and have a great time of it.

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Sexy This Week; Life That’s Sexy and Beautiful

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Albeit a few days late this week, but only for a few reasons. My original intention of Sexy This Week was to stimulate thought, and create a happy awareness of life and the lovely elements that make up our daily lives. Elements that in my eyes, and those of many others, are sexy and beautiful, sexy and beautiful enough to put a smile on a dull face, and make a gloomy mind blossom into colourful thoughts of epic proportions. Life that’s sexy and beautiful, that’s whats sexy this week. (more…)