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Here you have it, another lovely from the garbage bin of old toys gone bad, that somehow find their way mysteriously onto store shelves when responsible, ethical employees have their backs turned!

The “Total Satisfaction” by Mandy Mystery, whoever the fuck she is, a dual stimulator out of Germany. I am assuming from Germany as I read the German which describes it as being able to be used both vaginale und anale for those who love to be stimulated much like you would holding a six pack of beer in the cardboard box.

Speaking of box, the packaging is so faded, dusty and little crunched on the one corner that carries through to back side of the box that reveals an exciting picture, complete with a “magnified” area of her nether regions and a somewhat shitty attempt at German English translation in multiple captions.

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As much as the packaging of this “lovely” item tries to make it look like a worthwhile product with it’s glossy exterior, and quite frankly, beautiful box, the picture smacks you right in the face.

Pipe dream’s Titty Fuck-Her, the masturbator in the shape of tits and a pussy positioned, smack dab, right between them. Can we say somewhat misogynistic with a dash of objectification?

Made of “fanta-flesh” which is actually TPR (Thermo-Plastic-Rubber): billed as the most lifelike material that mimics the look and feel of real human skin, it warms to the touch during use, is waterproof, light weight, super stretchy and soft.

In the box you get a bottle of “moist” lube, cleaner, a bottle revive to bring back to life the fanta flesh, and a bullet with a remote control.

However, I still couldn’t stop laughing at the picture on the box, and couldn’t believe that such a product design actually existed!!! Please don’t tell me a woman came up with this design? So, I let my curiosity get the better of me and had to take a look inside. Curiosity that should’ve killed this cat! LMAO! (more…)

Misogynistic at it’s best! Feature this lovely one that leaves me wondering who the hell comes up with these designs? Ok I get the idea of masturbators, and the crazy array of designs out there, which for the most part I find seriously fun, and humorous, but like I’ve said before many leave me scratching my head in disbelief trying not to formulate an opinion. This one, I have to say, is seriously fucked! I don’t know how else to describe it.

Here is how Sexcitable describes this lovely piece of work; (more…)

Wacky Wednesday isn’t just about things wacky in the world of sex, sexuality, and sextoys, it’s also about the wild and wonderful in the art world of things sexy and erotic, and have I got one for you!

The Popovy sisters of Perm, Russia are award winning creators of dolls that would put Barbie and her world of plastic overindulgence to shame. Twin sisters that are fashion designers and artists took up doll making in 2004, part of an interest in human form that grew to include small collections of 10-14 dolls in each. The dolls are painstakingly hand crafted and sold to buyers around the world.

Their attention to detail is astounding, right down to the doll’s facial expressions, features, poses, and even the female genitalia. The women produce one collection a year and revel in the reactions the audience members produce at their gallery openings. (more…)

Not all of us have it self ingrained, not all of us have what it takes to have someone do it for us or command us the ability to have it, or get it, and I’m not talking about the kind and ultimately with the same underlying context. What I am talking about is discipline, and that’s what’s sexy this week.

Wikipedia, my favourite resource defines it as;
the suppression of base desires, and is usually understood to be synonymous with restraint and self-control. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation. Discipline is when one uses reason to determine the best course of action regardless of one’s desires, which may be the opposite of fun. Virtuous behaviour can be described as when one’s values are aligned with one’s aims: to do what one knows is best and to do it gladly. Continent behaviour, on the other hand, is when one does what one knows is best, but must do it by opposing one’s motivations. (more…)

With all the superhero hype going on it seems only fitting to showcase a few kids toys that made it to market. My only question is who was in charge of product design and development?

Think whomever it was missed a few details.

Don’t you think?

LMAO! (more…)

The price of your favourite adult therapeutical aid, in layman’s terms, sextoy, can add up pretty damn fast, and break your bank account in the process! Trust me, I know first hand, but like all of you out there, I love a good deal and I’ll go to great lengths to get one. However that doesn’t mean compromising quality for cheap.

There is a reason I appreciate the product knowledge that your local sextoy advocate has when educating you on the good, the bad, and down right ugly in an industry that for the most part is unregulated. It’s because of this fact that companies are producing toys at lightning speed without a governing body to regulate and test the “toys” hence the reason the toys you use are classified as “novelty use” because, believe it or not, they are considered to have no use.

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Wikipedia describes Massage as involving working and acting on the body with pressure – structured, unstructured, stationary, or moving – tension, motion, or vibration, done manually or with mechanical aids. Massage can be applied with the hands, fingers, elbows, knees, forearm, feet, or a massage device. Massage can promote relaxation and well-being, can be a recreational activity, and can be sexual in nature (see Erotic massage). (more…)

You’re not going to believe where I found these lovely little gems on my trips round the net, or maybe you will, since I did find a maker of some lovely glass dildos there.

Of all places ETSY!!

Nightfall Miniatures

Yes the do it yourself artisan site for makers of well, all kinds of things!

The artist Jenny Cooper a self styled Goth, not only makes items for the uber Gothic Dollhouse, but the down and dirty sexy toy dungeon. (more…)

Wikipedia foot fetishism defines foot fetishism as;

“a pronounced sexual interest in the feet or footwear. Sigmund Freud considered foot binding as a form of fetishism. For a foot fetishist, points of attraction include the shape and size of the foot and toes (e.g., long toes, short toes, painted toenails, high arches, soles etc.), jewelry (toe rings, anklets, etc.), treatments (such as pedicures or massaging), state of dress (barefoot, sandals, flip flops, high heels, socked feet, etc.), odour, and/or sensory interaction (e.g., smelling the foot, licking, kissing, tickling, biting, sucking toes, etc.)’

If you’re like me, you have an appreciation for pretty much any, and everything, from humanity to the animal kingdom and beyond. Now let me stress, I am talking about appreciation, not sexual attraction in this statement. I am NOT interested in animals outside of homo sapiens for sexual activity, and I am making that clear, and trust me, I do get asked! (more…)