Tidbits; Life In The Sex Shop Comes In All Ages
Life at the sex shop isn’t always about the young, beautiful, and physically fit venturing through the doors for the latest and greatest of sex toys on the market. It’s a variety of folks that come from all walks of life, of all backgrounds, cultural beliefs, religions, anything and everything, you name it, we see it. I realized long ago working as a sex educator and at the sex shop, that sex doesn’t stop as a person ages, let alone when a person loses a loved one. In particular someone who has been with an individual all their loving adult life.
Sex, keeps on happening.
For most there is the wait time for the proverbial period of mourning when attentions are not on self pleasuring aspects, but on emotional healing. Once sufficiently healed these people find themselves venturing out into the world to continue on the quest of fulfilling that biological need that we as human beings all have, a need prevalent in both sexes. The need to masturbate, satisfy an itch, rub one out, get off. I love getting off, big surprise huh, and I for one love when older folks come in looking for a little help after mustering up the courage to do so, pushing off the veil of shyness.
Yes it saddens me to see folks newly alone, but it also excites me to see these people with the courage to get on with their lives. We have to take into consideration that for some, it’s been years with one person, one person who has been their partner, their sole source of satisfaction when it comes to all things sexual. A frightening prospect for a person that suddenly finds themselves learning the ropes again, akin to when you did as a teenager entering into your adolescence, adolescence ripe with hormones running rampant throughout your body giving you urges you never had before. Urges you still have as an adult, that is of course if you still have them. Let me point out that just because life for one person has come to an end, does not mean it has for another.
We’re not all built the same, and desires come and go, sometimes forever, and sometimes not at all. For some, the loss of a long time partner leaves them with no interest in sex at all, of any kind, and for others, it can give them an insatiable drive. We are all different, I for one am quite happy with my drive, to say the least.
For the sexually active, having sex within society’s legal age definition, should be new, exciting, exhilarating, and certainly satisfying. When it comes to self satisfaction, for the women, there is a multitude of toys, lotions, potions, and techniques that have been readily available since the start of the 20th century when the medical affliction “hysteria” went from a diagnosis to a human need. Since then women have had access to a multitude of educational material and an overall general acknowledgment that masturbation is good for you. DUH! For the men there was no such term as hysteria, and of course being a man’s world, masturbation, self pleasuring, was just what men did.
For those that were in 30 plus year relationships, sexual pleasuring was generally done by, with, and for your partner. For men that lost their partner, many found themselves at a loss for what to do and how to enjoy themselves. However unfortunate that aspect is it does paint a picture of a systemic education process that began well before the home economic classes of the 50s, when the homemaker was taught, and told to focus on the needs of the bread winner, in most cases a man. An education process that is finally starting to break down. With courage in hand the men of that era are venturing into the world of the adult novelty shops in hot pursuit of items that will help cure them of what ails them. In most, if not all, a serious case of blue balls.
I and others I known the industry find ourselves on most occasions having to re-educate those that walk through our doors on the fact that masturbation is now something they have to provide for themselves if they are not going to re-enter the dating scene, or pay for it. Trust me those in the dating scene are not going to put up with that shit, this is the new world, and they better figure it out quick! It can be a strong learning curve if they’re not open to new ideas and for others, they’re ready to dive in head first. Most want to re-create what they’ve lost, companionship, feelings of intimacy warmth and stability, they are lonely.
Re-education that usually is discussions on the new types of toys available for men, from motorized, computerized to the manual operation. Discussion that is generally met with shock, amazement followed by silence, silence that’s slowly starts to fade away and blossom into long conversations about the aspects of sexual pleasuring in the world beyond what they once had. Conversation that started with talk about lubricants and fleshlights, conversation that fairly quickly gets personal, yet encouraging.
Encouragement like the gentle pat your mother gave you on your bum when you took your first as a child. Your first uncertain step into your new life and journey ahead.