The Great Outdoors

Not to long ago I found myself answering a question that was asked of me after a shift at the lounge I used to work at. Playing the game, “question and answer”  similar to the game “truth or dare” I was asked if I had ever had sex outdoors? “No!”, was my quick answer producing gasps of shock and amazement. NO! I had never ventured into the local shubbery up to that point, and even I found myself shocked by that. Sitting in that room full of folks telling stories of their escapades into the underbrush of the local park’s fauna and flora for a secret rendezvous, it was soon becoming clear, this is an activity that quite literally occurs on a regular basis. ALL YEAR LONG! I found myself soon wondering what was it they all knew that I didn’t? Clearly they were indulging on a regular basis and I wasn’t!

Okay so sex outdoors is not just relegated to a park, it seems that from the round table discussion we were having, folks were getting it on in numerous places outside of the home. I wasn’t feeling so bad now, cause that would mean my car park adventures would now account for something judging by the new definitions set out. There were stories of trysts in the car, under a bridge, on the bus, train, plane, even the alleyways of Vancouver’s notorious West End. Out door activities fuelled by hormones running amok not worried about getting a grass stained ass or knees!

Long walks deep into the trails of the dark parks are frequented by the horny of all kinds. It doesn’t take long for a trail in a new park to develop a reputation as being the latest and greatest cruising area for those looking for anonymous frolic. Parks have long been the gathering space for many, and this is not a new phenomenon as of this century, but one that has been enjoyed for eons by both gay and straight. Keep in mind the trails and pathways develop reputations that cater to those seeking specific interests, it’s not a free-for-all. However, that’s not to say there isn’t crossover amongst the interest groups, why even the kinky are diving into the bush for a little slap and tickle.

Those on the hunt go prepared; they know when to go, where to go, and what to take with them. They even know the subtle art of the cruise; the casual glance back at the person that just passed you to see if they are looking back at you, liking what they saw, or the direct eye contact accompanied with quick darting glances off into the bush as if to follow. Before heading off into the bush you may want to go prepared, a simple leaf or used panties to wipe up just won’t do. You’ll need to take along some lubricant, wipe-ups, and recommended protection. Don’t forget your cleanup, and more importantly to clean up after yourself. Lets keep our parks clean of garbage. How do I know? Let’s just say there were times I was a little more conspicuous when leaving the park with the evidence on my clothes and tangled into my hair.

If a little park debris is not your thing, why not take the car? There are lots of spots under the stars to park it and crotch gaze. Evening drives along the roadways of the parks are so calming and relaxing that one can’t help but feel amorous. Although darkened skies seem to be the precursor for vehicle action, daylight activities do occur. Most prefer the nighttime atmosphere to the daylight, since parked cars and SUVs bouncing merrily along generally attract a bit of attention. There are those that drive solo looking for action from those on foot, slowing down with the window rolled down to ask a few details and give those on foot the opportunity to look in and see the goods. The goods, that is, if they are on display. Even I’ve seen a few rubber cat suits and crossed-dressed sluts driving that big o’l muscle car. Like I say, whatever floats your boat, I don’t judge!

We’re no idiots! It doesn’t take an expert to know what’s going on when you see the windows on of the car parked up ahead so fogged up that there are rivulets running down the glass. Accompany that with the squeaking sound made from the vigorous rocking motion of the workout within going on within and your safe to assume something is up! Remember the “shaggin wagon” with the slogan “don’t come a knocking if this van is a rockin?” Don’t! You may not like the response you get from the intrusion.

A word of advice here as well? Pick your spot wisely and remind yourself that although you are in a car or vehicle of some kind you still don’t have the trees, leaves and brush to shield you from passersby, your a still much more public. Discretion needs to be assured, parks are billed as “family” places for outings, you wouldn’t to be caught making a family now would you or worse yet getting a ticket?

Oh and don’t forget to pay for parking, its hourly, and required in all parks here in Vancouver!

Safety first; even when you think you may be going off trail for an actual hike you may not be alone, there may be someone following you with thoughts other than the simple trek through the woods. On a serious note and as exhilarating as it can be, I cannot stress the safety factor, you need to be aware and beware of your surrounding and who is around. The simple sexual tryst you were hoping for could turn out to be something very dangerous and for those that pay attention to the news, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

So get on those hiking boots and go for a walk you never know what you’ll find growing in the deep, dark, and forests of the city’s parks.