The gag reflex for beginners, it’s not as easy as you think!

I get asked this a lot, and god only knows why, but the question is how to control your gag reflex during oral play? Maybe it’s the aura I give off, but I want to remind you that I am human just like all of you and I encounter challenges just like anyone else! For now, let me share with you a little advice that you can take for whatever it’s worth.

We all like to think of ourselves as the best at providing oral pleasure and for those of you gifted, you’ve gotten past the gag reflex able to rise to the occasion like a true champion of deep throat diving. As you may, or may not know, it takes practice and sometimes a lot of practice, practice that’s not without it’s fair share of watery eyes, smeared makeup, and saliva you could fill a cup with. So if your cup runneth over, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, quite the contrary, you’re just fortunate enough to have salivary glands that can lubricate the way for an oral exam free of dry mouth and that unbearable hacking cough.

Hoping you weren’t brought up to believe for whatever reason that oral sex was dirty , something you can discuss with your psychiatrist, I’m here to tell you it’s not, and to get on with it! Oral sex is fun, oral sex is great, it can yield so much power and gratification for both parties whether receiving or giving and for all genders. Aside from the obvious physical differences, providing oral sex for a female partner still comes with a certain amount of technique not learned in one night. On male anatomy oral sex is yet again a whole other ball game. Those on the other end of that member usually like to see it going long and deep, and if you’re like me you’ve seen your fair share of porn “actors” giving the next academy award performance.

Let’s remind ourselves without bursting to many bubbles, that adult films are a projection of fantasy and not always reality. Although we like to think of ourselves as the next porn performer able to go for hours on end with no breaks in between, perfect makeup, hair, and bed sheets fresh as the day they were washed, this just isn’t reality. Before lights, camera, and action is called, there is a lot of prep that takes place behind the scenes, prep that includes bathing, relaxing, and cleaning one’s orifices. You get my drift here, cause shit does happen. So without veering too far off course, let’s get back to the gag reflex.

Some come naturally to it. They can open wide, juice up that mouth, and let it slide on down tickling the tonsils, and plunging deep into the throat for a massage from the inside out. Even the champions have a tough time with this when things are shall we say just a little too big. At that point if your eyes are telling you yes, and your mouth and throat saying no, do what I do and prop it up in the corner and blow kisses at it, and know, at least you tried. 

The ability to relax your throat and open wide, does come from practice. For most of you, you’ve had your fingers down your throat after an evening of heavy boozing, so you know what it is to activate your gag reflexes and empty your stomach contents. However when you want it down your throat, you want to control your gag reflexes, and we do want it down our throats don’t we? For first-time players be clear with your lover and let them know that this is not a jackhammer journey to the centre of the earth. Tell them what feels good, tell them what makes you uncomfortable, tell them to take it slow. Let yourself feel what your throat is telling you, and believe me, your throat will tell you what it’s feeling, and you don’t want a second helping of the lunch you had that day.

As simple as this sounds it truly is about relaxing and taking your time and knowing there are no hard-core techniques for deep throat except to keep it simple. Relax your mouth, open as wide as you can, rest your tongue on your lower teeth, and curl your upper lip around your top front teeth. Let it glide in and avoid the drag. You can even lay on your back with your head and neck tilted back allowing your throat to stretch open, avoid your gag centre, and it make for some hot looking action!

Yes there are numbing agents like Chloraseptic spray for sore throats, now sold in lollipop form at the local sex shops, even oral sex mints with a hint of numbing in them. However not only does it numb the throat, it does the meat puppet as well, and for me I am not sure feeling as though I just had throat surgery is what I was after.

Do yourself a favour and take your time, communicate with your partner about what it is your liking, or not, and you’ll get it right soon enough!