Tidbits: In Through the Out Door, Anal Play
In through the out door, anal play for everyone!
I am not sure if it is the energy that comes from PRIDE in the months leading up to and after, but a question I am increasingly asked and still am; how to make anal sex less painful for first time players. I am not just talking about gay guys, but straight guys and women. Not that PRIDE actually has anything to do with it as I like to think, but truthfully I think that people are just becoming increasingly open minded and inquisitive to other forms of pleasure they never considered before. I have to say I just love PRIDE and all the things it invokes in folks, so HEAR HEAR to PRIDE!!
Ok, so now these eager beavers have decided that this is the next step in their sexual evolution, the question that gets asked is how do you get past the door that slams shut when anything gets remotely close? Things as small as your pinky, or ring finger, before introducing the big guns. How do you do it, how do you relax enough to get anything in there?
What I always start with is by informing folks they need to get conscious of those muscles outside of what they do naturally during a trip to the loo.
Think of it as a trip to the gym involving a series of exercises that consist of relaxing and contracting the muscles surrounding that love portal. Breathing in during each contraction and breathe out when relaxing. A simple action that will allow you to be more conscious of that fact that yes, you can learn how to control those muscles. Takes a bit of time, but most women already know this through a steady routine of Kegel exercises, contracting and relaxing maintaining a strong, tight, pelvic floor. Fun for all, even me at the trade shows watching those eager participants contracting and relaxing in unison between breaths while seated listening to me talk.
If that’s not working for you and wish to go that extra step and calm those nerves, you can always try a desensitizer of some kind. I am not talking about Anbesol for baby teething, which by the way does work, but rather a creme or lotion that will stay put and lubricated when you start testing the waters. Trust me your going to need and want some lubrication to let it slide on in. You’d be surprised at how something so small could hurt so much! Trust me I know, and any amount of force will stop all activity dead in it’s tracks!
The choice of numbing agents is almost endless and truly you only want to be numb until you are comfortable enough for the rest of the ride. I mean what’s the point of being so numb you feel nothing at all? You want to feel it, and enjoy it on all levels, whether it’s psychological for those feeling a little submissive, or physical for a good old pounding.
By the way guys, I bet you didn’t know that a little prostate (widely known as the male g-spot), stimulation is good for you? Massage or milking done not only for sexual reasons, but medical, will ward off a multitude of evils keeping you healthy and happy!
However I can’t stress enough that if all your parameters are not met and you are feeling discomfort, and worse yet pain, then stop! You have nothing to prove to yourself, or to you and your partner. You want pleasure not trauma! A little edict I like; NO MEANS NO and until it works take your time and move slowly and comfortably, it’s not everyone that can jump in feet first.
Let me remind you though it is NOT always a cake walk and even those experienced players find the door tightly closed from time to time.
Now where did I drop that soap?
Toodles till next time.