Photo: Kate McLaren

Sex, sex, and more sex! Yes thatʼs whatʼs itʼs all about, that strange wonderful desire controlled by the not so elusive chemicals we call hormones. They dictate how we act, develop, desire, and for some control their every action and thoughts. Trust me, cause as some of you may know and for those that donʼt, hormones certainly have me by the short and curlyʼs!

I think about sex all the time, and so do a lot of my friends. How does that saying go, “birds of a feather”? At any rate my quest to be who I am, and in my younger years knew who I was to become, led me on that journey to explore the ultimate orgasm. Well maybe not the ultimate, but certainly some variety.

When I came back from my “treatment” abroad in England I knew that an orgasm was possible. Hell my dreams were telling me so, waking up just like I did in my teen years with wet sheets and endorphin rushes wondering if indeed it was an orgasm or if I actually wet the bed. At this point it was game on!

How could I bring my dream orgasms into reality? Would it be a trip to the sex shop to buy a few things? In my case many new things, day in and day out. I mean how was to I know that I would amass a small, ok, not so small arsenal of adult toys that requires a special clause in my home insurance policy. I kid you not!

How was I to know that after spending a lot of money on some items that they would do nothing for me after all the hype? How was I to know that some of the toys that cost almost nothing at all would put me over the moon? No really, how was I to know that some would stand the test of time while others broke after simply glancing at them?

I learned and studied on a multitude of things. Take for example latex allergies. Trust me something you donʼt want to have when, well shall we say, you that cute little puppy, with your dog tail starting to burn up the asphalt while inserted up your hershey highway of love! Trust me, NOT FUN!!

Hell I wasnʼt even aware that there were compatibility issues with your choice of lubes, lotions and potions and the toys a person used them with! Another one to chalk up to not being fun!
Although having said that, I do find it quite entertaining watching a silicone ring melt into a lovely oozing mess when liquid silicone is applied! Makes for great fun when in place on an unsuspecting play partner!

Then there is the issue of oil based creams that just donʼt work well with latex toys (if of course your not allergic) let alone latex condoms.

Letʼs just say you are allergic to latex, or have suddenly become allergic. Did you know there are condoms that are polyurethane now? Helps take the burn out of that latex allergy or why not try the “femmy dom” condom? Much larger without feeling strangled, guys. You can even use it with your toys.

My point is, that along my journey Iʼve come across a lot of things, situations, experiences, and many life lessons. Suffiuce to say that what didnʼt work for me just might for you and vice versa. Hence where I am at today in my life talking and promoting sexual health, healing, and awareness. I want to share it with you and hopefully youʼll do the same back. However let me point out that as I may know a lot, I donʼt profess to know it all.

So for now I must run and help my electrician with his nuts. See you next time. So much to share, so little time!

Enticingly Yours Velvet Steele

(Originally published in V-Rag April, 2013.)