Velvet Steele by Kate McLaren

I just love it when I am doing trade shows and I ask, “what kind of lube are you looking for” or anything to do with lubricants and the guy pipes up and tells me that they don’t use lube cause he gets her wet all the time!

Say what? Shut the fuck up! You mean to tell me you truly think that you are the bomb and always get her hot and wet each time? You get her telling you the water is always warm so jump right in? Okaaay!

Chances are if you’ve looked in that bedside table of hers you’ll find some, and possibly a serious collection of that engine oil! Cause for some folks, just like a car, a little lotion helps get that love motor running.

It always amazes me when guys say that, I mean hell you wouldn’t jump into your car and drive off into the sunset without some oil to keep that engine running at peak performance, so why would you expect your par amour to be any different?

Trust me, just like that well oiled machine you worship in your garage, the human machine also needs a little to get going now and then! Since we’ve all seen the selection at Canadian Tire it’s clear there is a multitude of choices out there and it’s no different at the local sex shoppe!

Think about it, you’ve got silicone, water based, hybrids, (a mix of the two), organics, oil based, vegetable oils, pheromone laced, flavoured, warming, cooling, numbing, tingling, tightening, creams, lotions, liquids, candles, bars. You get the picture.

It’s a pretty big market out there that’s moved well and beyond the days of good old KY, and now the manufacturers of these lotions, & potions are making products geared for the sexes and it’s about time. As the saying goes, what’s good for the goose is not always good for the gander and companies are finally putting this knowledge to good use.

To be honest most men I know don’t really care what it is they are using to avoid that lovely friction burn. I know guys using things like olive oil, soap, hand cream, and yes we have all heard it before, crisco! Come on be honest, I know you have tried it. Why not try a bit of coconut oil, it’s anti bacterial, anti fungal, you can cook with it, and it tastes great! Hell when push comes to shove, the old spit and polish method works wonders.

Now women on the other hand do need some loving care and ingredients for those nether regions. Dryness does occur and companies are now using plant based extracts in their formulas to promote the production of mucous for these particular problems. Hey this isn’t just limited to the vaginal cavity (come on say it, VAGINA!) but the anal cavity as well. Most of the gay guys I know, already know this, you dirty kinky boys you, and are scooping up the lovely pretty pink bottles in batches so big you’d think they are bathing in it!

Regardless of what it is you find yourself using, cause the choices are almost limitless, you’ll be needing to keep in mind that not all of the choices are compatible with your choice of toys or for that matter, YOU! Allergies can and do occur! My suggestion? That you get a sample, if it is a new product to you and believe it or not try it on the inside of your elbow and see if you have reaction. Trust me, you don’t want a healthy slathering giving you a healthy burn during that boot knocking action.

Why in no time you’ll have an assortment for all those different uses, just like my ever empty liquor cabinet, trust me I can vouch for that!

Enough food for thought? I hope so as I must run, I’ve got a bath to take. Till next time OOXX

(Originally published in V-Rag May, 2013.)