Blog

Internet Communication and Networking

tidbits-internet-communication-networking

For me internet communication and networking is always “dicey” and for a multitude of reasons, particularly if you are a woman, and look a certain way. Like me, most people are always waiting and hoping for that one great deal or opportunity to come their way through the networking they do. Going to great lengths to keeping many profiles on sites most of us haven’t even heard of. Over the years I’ve learned to take it with a grain of salt, so I don’t expect much.

The multitude of carefully constructed and crafted sites that allow you to showcase your talents to prospective clients that are looking for your particular skill set. Along with your written details, these sites also provide you with the option to put your best foot forward for all to see; your profile picture.

This is the spot to shine and grab attention, to keep your photo and written details cohesive for a professional presentation that will have you being taken seriously. Enough so, that those who are making serious enquiries will take the time to read your info and truly absorb what your skills and credentials are all about.

As simple as this may sound for those of us that get it and understand what professional means, there are those that don’t and provide profile pics that just don’t quite meld. I’ll dispense with the specifics on this detail, but I am sure you can understand the confusion about reading a resume for a doctor while viewing a pic of a twerking ass in Mexico as the profile picture. No?

Let’s say you do have all the elements in place for a picture perfect presentation; a punchy picture, a stand out resume, and qualifications up the wha zoo, and finally, an enquiry. However it doesn’t take long to realize that clearly someone hasn’t read anything from your profile and resume, instead asking; How are you?  What do you do? Where are you from? How’s your day? Can I ask you a question? Then my favourite, hey baby!

First of all, I’m not your baby, second I’m here for networking opportunities, not social dating or other. Thirdly, ARE YOU AN IDIOT? I don’t candy coat any more and I’m usually pretty clear in what I put out there, where, and what I am offering or looking for. An adult lifetime of professional domination has taught me that skill. For those that don’t know, I’m specific, clear and concise and very direct.

It amazes me what folks think or will try, and looking solely at my picture without reading the written portion doesn’t win brownie points with me. It actually pisses me off, and beyond that, it’s a serious waste of my time answering questions that could have been answered reading my info.tibbits-inernet-communication-networking-nude-websurfing

To alleviate any further time wasted I created a generic reply that usually weeds out the nonsense enquiries that come to me trough my profiles. It has come to be very useful template for me. It’s blunt, direct, and means business and in this day and age, I for one can never be to sure, nor stand to have precious time wasted!

You may ask yourself, why would I bother to respond, but when you get as many dumb assed enquiries as I do, the need to want to reply comes up, not the want. At times I am cheeky in my replies, at other times I’m clearly flustered and upset and respond accordingly, and yes, based on my mood.

As an example, I’m going to share a modification too my template I sent to a query that came to me through my LinkedIn profile.

Hi there, thanks for the taking the time to enquire with me.

What specifically are you looking for here??

I hope you read my profile in it’s entirety, and if not suggest you do.

To begin, I am not here for sex, sex with you, or any other person, and yes I’ve had the “surgery”.

If you wish to consult with me about business opportunities, great, if not, and you wish to ask me questions of a personal nature, then go to my website for all those details further.

If consulting with me about me about my personal life is what you want to do, again I have my website for that, if it is specific details you wish to know, I charge $300 an hour for consulting, payable at 50% in advance to secure appropriate times and dates to consult.

Consulting, which does not include sitting topless, or nude on camera, nor does it involve any sex acts.

If you wish to proceed in a professional manner great, lets arrange that, if not, look to my website for those details about my life and where to follow me further on social media.

If you already haven’t looked on my profile, here on LinkedIn to see those location details, I can be found at;

www.velvetsteele.com

As I said before, I customize each and every query that requires my special brand of loving reply.

Inspire The Desire To Create

Be A Part Of Positive Change

Enticingly Yours

Velvet steele

Internet Trolls Creeping Around for This Week’s Tidbits

Trolls, I’m not talking about the mythical cave-dwelling being depicted in folklore as either giant or dwarf, typically having an ugly appearance. Nor am I writing about the cute, cuddly, sweet looking, creatures with brightly coloured hair, in the latest instalment from Dreamworks. I’m talking about Internet Trolls, and although not mythical, what they do share is the commonality of being ugly, from the inside out.

An Internet Troll according to Wikipedia; In Internet slang, a troll (/ˈtroʊl/, /ˈtrɒl/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting quarrels or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal, on-topic discussion, often for the troll’s amusement.

Most of what I’ve written here, are, and pretty much will be my own thoughts and beliefs, drawn from personal experiences, and what I do know is it’s sentiment shared by many out there in cyber space.

For many folks, dealing with these trolls can be daunting, emotional, and time consuming, and that is the sole objective of these creatures; to disrupt the positive energy good people are busy putting out there by wasting your time. One wonders why these antagonists are so intent on being so negative towards others, perplexing enough to bring up a multitude of questions. However why give it thought, all a person need do is consider the source, and like water off a duck’s back the disruption should roll right off with it!

It’s true what is said about these keyboard gangsters, they are miserable, jealous, spurned attention seekers, just down right mean. Actively working to drag anyone and everyone down into their misery, because as we know, misery loves company, and love it they do.

Actively working spending a great deal of time and energy to spew forth the venom they do, but hold on a minute, (insert sound of a record screeching to a halt) “actively working”! Do these slime balls have jobs? Do these keyboard cowards actually work, because don’t real, good people have jobs? Last time I checked, it takes a great deal of time and energy to spew forth venom, time and energy I just don’t have nor want to waste.

Spewing venom; it’s actually vomit, because let’s face it, they aren’t as cool as they think they are to spew forth venom!tidbits-internet-trolls-Fat-Green-Troll

If you’re wondering what types of these soul suckers are out there, Tamar Love Grande has come up with 18 in her article The 18 Types of Internet Trolls over at Smosh I remember this article 7 years ago, it was as relevant then, as it is now. I’m sure you will find it absolutely fulfilling and give you some serious insight on the kind of gutter scum that’s hounding you .

Let me remind you that this sick compulsion is nothing but a form of control, plain and simple! The kind we see in movies with the villain feverishly plotting to drag everyone over to the dark side. Sorry to tell all you wet farts, bright shining lights are hard to dim.

Moving on, I particularly love the attacks on individuals these ogres inflict, individuals that they don’t even personally know. Attacks they feel they have license to commit because someone is in the public realm. Attacks we see all to often perpetrated against actors and actresses just because they are on film. People in general, types of employment, anything, anything that represents an ideology that is perceived as threatening to the hobgoblin.

Even better are the attacks dished out by pond scum that “say” they personally know the victim, deciding to dox all their private info for the world to see? Ooooooo such power and control, NOT! On that, I say own it, don’t let them get that upper hand!

Now how about asking personal questions in a public forum? This one always leaves me scratching my head in disbelief. The audacity to think its appropriate to ask for answers of some seriously questionable and personal natures that you wouldn’t ask your own mother? Then to get vitriolic when the reply, if your lucky enough to get one, is something the dirtbag didn’t like. Say what? Then to be offended by the smack down these dung heaps get for asking such idiocy, leaves me speechless.

tidbits-internet-trolls-mental-disorderOnward to the professions of undying love, affections expressed towards an idol, a love that quickly turns into the fury of hell when spurned. Firstly I ask did these obsessed nut jobs think that their coveted one true love would drop everything and run to them with open arms? Secondly, who is going to pay for the bus, train, or plane ticket, and then there are the bills, the rent, the mortgage and personal upkeep! Joking aside, they’re professions that are clearly based in a fantasy land. Don’t get me wrong, love does happen online, but usually after some time and communication has transpired.

Belittling or browbeating, now how’s that for motivation to do something you don’t want to do? Nothing beats being treated like garbage to inspire a person into doing something against their will or that they never intended to do. What a way to win friends and influence! Personally I love being told my make-up looks over done, my hair colour is all wrong, I’m to fat, to thin, and my clothes don’t t suit me at all, confidence building at it’s finest.

Identifying the tell take signs of a troll can be difficult, as they are good at manipulating an unsuspecting victim. However, Saikat Basu  has summed it up in his article, 5 Most Effective ways to Deal With Arrogant Internet Trolls at Make Use Of a 4 minute read to empower you further.

It’s hard to not get emotional, or caught up in the drama of the engagement these curmudgeons are trying to illicit from you, you wouldn’t be a caring human being if you didn’t. To sum it all up, here are a few of my own simple rules to live by when dealing with a troll.

  1. Don’t feed the troll, feed them, they grow, starve them, they wither up and die.
  2. Laugh it off, if you can.
  3. Share that shit with your friends and supporters.
  4. Don’t engage further, if it’s obvious they will keep at it.
  5. Block, and delete.
  6. Depending on the severity, document everything, screen shot it, and file it away.

So yeah, one could say I don’t much care for them.

tidbits-internet-trolls-no-cyberbullying

 

 

Body Dysmorphia For This Weeks Tidbits

idbits-body-dysmorphia-1

Recently I was accused of having body dysmorphia “issues”. 

Wikipedia classifies Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental disorder characterized by an obsessive preoccupation that some aspect of one’s own appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it.[1] In BDD’s delusional variant, the flaw is imagined.[2] If the flaw is actual, its importance is severely exaggerated.[2] Either way, one’s thoughts about it are pervasive and intrusive, occupying up to several hours a day.

stw_goals_fitness

and the definition goes on……..

Let’s just say that I thought the statement was somewhat humorous, and a completely stupid accusation!

For those that know me, and those that know me well that the statement is so far from the truth I just don’t know where to begin refuting it, so much so that I won’t. What strikes me is the need for these types of individuals to get in my face and declare they know me better than my own self. If we look at Wikipedia’s definition closely and that of other classifications, it would suggest that I spend hours a day occupying my time over what I construe as flaws, again I cannot begin to start where this is so wrong!

tidbits-body-dysmorphia-3My day starts by getting up, having breakfast, heading to the gym, and then getting dressed to tackle the rest. I knew and know what I didn’t like about myself, and I got on with correcting those issues, not obsessing to the point of being able to function. I do my maintenance regimes, eat right, take care of of my health, and if need be, have a few “treatments” here and there. I’ve worked at my appearance, and I’m rather proud of it! I made the decisions, I did the work, did what I wanted, and at 52 I think I’ve got it down pat for what the rest of what my life looks like.

What I do want to present here is the general tone and attitude of the individual that made the statement to me, and I’m going to say this, an attitude of jealousy and laziness. In this instance I considered the source, and it wasn’t pretty! Call me shallow, call me esoteric, call me a bitch, but honey, effort is required by everyone to look how you want! Again taking the words of Helena Rubinstein; “There are no ugly women, just lazy ones!” and how right she was. This statement so profound, even applies to the men out there.

Everyone I know does something to themselves for their own particular reasons, and that’s what makes them individuals, unique and beautiful unto themselves, which is for the most part why I LOVE all the people I know.

People getting tattooed, pierced, branded, augmented, reduced, cosmetically treated, working out at the gym, hair done, make-up used, clothes bought, it all plays into appearances, appearances I relish and support.

It made me wonder, does this individual say anything to those outside of my world, the world of the gender variant, transgender, transsexual, non-binary groupings? For some reason I believe they don’t, that would be to easy, and it would play on stereotyping, and isn’t that what this person just did to me? Me as a woman with a transsexual medical history, I was just stereotyped for wanting to look a certain way?

I look how I crafted myself, no one told me how to look or be, and in the end the statement made me laugh to myself and think, quite frankly, go fuck yourself! I’m happy with what I’m doing and where I’m going and no one will tell me different.tidbits-body-dysmorphia-4

How’s that for a little rant?

Tidbits: Internet Predators

internet predator

Internet Predators, they are everywhere you turn on the super high way of information we all use now, the world wide web.

They are manipulative, coercive, and down right dangerous. They start off as appearing to be nice, getting to know you, asking all the right questions, leading you on to the point of you thinking they are genuinely interested in what you have to say and offer in the professional world, even in your private world of just being a friend. That doesn’t last long once they have gained your trust and begin to reveal who they really are.

(more…)

Tidbits: The Art of Buying Sextoys

sextoys

The price of your favourite adult therapeutical aid, in layman’s terms, sextoy, can add up pretty damn fast, and break your bank account in the process! Trust me, I know first hand, but like all of you out there, I love a good deal and I’ll go to great lengths to get one. However that doesn’t mean compromising quality for cheap.

There is a reason I appreciate the product knowledge that your local sextoy advocate has when educating you on the good, the bad, and down right ugly in an industry that for the most part is unregulated. It’s because of this fact that companies are producing toys at lightning speed without a governing body to regulate and test the “toys” hence the reason the toys you use are classified as “novelty use” because, believe it or not, they are considered to have no use.

(more…)

Tidbits: Velvet Writes, Shopping (a light sample of erotica)

pearls shoes

Gracefully sliding my hand across the glass cabinet, looking for yet another pearl necklace, my memories made me smile as I remembered the perfect one I found last time. Or was it the excellent customer service that also brought on my smile?

That’s right the customer service. I wonder if he is working today?

Daydreaming away I noticed the young sales man staring at me. Not quite embarrassed, I asked the him where the woman’s washroom was. He didn’t give directions, simply said, “just follow me”. His voice was soothing yet strong, and as I looked him over and nodded my head I slowly began to follow. I prefer a man who has little to say and gives me what I want. His voice was just like the salesman at my new favourite shoe store. Now there is man who knows how to put the “S” in Service.

(more…)

Tidbits: On The Rise

Cock

Advice is something I am always being asked to give, and if not, I am usually giving it of my own free will, well, because that’s just me. I am not a doctor, counsellor, or other, but given my life experience, one would think I am all of them given the amount of questions of an intimate nature that come my way!

On the top of my list are questions from men about, well theirs DICKS! Questions of all kinds, and my healthy readers can just imagine what some of them might be, I definitely don’t need to fill you in on that. For the sake of argument and discussion I’ll prove my point.

(more…)

Tidbits: Comfortable In My Own Skin

velvet-steele-topless-by-rick-legal-censored

Recently I was asked if I thought I shared to much of myself through all this social media we are all glued at our finger tips to. My answer was a quick and abrupt NO!

Let me tell you why If you’re at all interested in reading to find out.

For the most part I would say that 80% of my journey up until this point has been traversed alone. A road that is sometimes straight and narrow, wide and winding, but for the most part, steep and treacherous. Challenges abound around every corner, out of sight, having left me with no tools or resources to face those challenges, except head on. I’ve learned a lot with this type of approach, but there really was no other way to deal with the challenges I did not see coming. I thought life for the most part would be easy, or at least somewhat along this road, and how wrong I was!

(more…)

Tidbits: Coitus Automobilus

Coitus Automobilus 2

The sex appeal of the automobile has been known for a long time, especially by men. Automobiles designed by men, built for men, driven mostly by men, men. Women weren’t really in the equation except when the car was referred to as a “family car”, the vehicle of choice for growing families, which we know is and was serious advertising bullshit. It wasn’t until the Ford Motor Company finally clued in with the introduction of their pony car, the Mustang, introduced in 1964 as a car for women and heavily marketed with slick and sexy advertising campaigns. A car that boasted simplicity, yet stylish, subtly powerful, and adored by 1964 mustangmany, women that is in the start.

Car appeal has always had people of all sexes in it’s grip. From the moment we first sit in a car we are groomed for the day of privilege we somehow believe we are entitled to, the day we get our driver’s license. That day when we can hop behind the wheel of an automobile and drive our family, friends, selves, and lovers to destinations of our choosing.

(more…)

Tidbits: VOTING IS SEXY (and horny)!!!

With Canadians headed to the polls this year, maybe we could stimulate them into believing it can be this good and get the currnt nut job out of office! The Spanish seem to have it right as you’ll see in this lovely video!

Page 1 of 512345