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Wacky Wednesday; Breast Forms Gone Bad

Bad Breast Forms

Here you have it folks, breast forms gone bad!

First you’ll be drawn to the lovely, what appears to be a shoe box, these glowing orbs are neatly tucked away in, so slick and colourful it must have taken the manufacturer’s design team forever to come up with packaging so unique.Bad Breast Forms2

Secondly, once the box is open you WILL be struck by these “glowing” orbs! I mean they fucking glow! Tell me you’ve seen real breasts that look anything like this colour, and I’ll be the first one questioning where, and who you saw them on, and it better have been in a lab or quarantined section of area 51. What happened to quality control on colour, or were they all out at the water fountain drinking vodka?

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Wacky Wednesday: Squildo

Squildo

Well folks, here you have it the SQUILDO! For hard core fans of Tentacle Erotica, as described by Wikipedia;

“A type of pornography most commonly found in Japan which integrates traditional pornography with elements of bestiality and a fantasy, horror, or science-fiction theme. Tentacle rape or shokushu goukan (触手強姦?) is found in some horror or hentai titles, with tentacled creatures (usually fictional monsters) having sexual intercourse with predominantly female characters. Tentacle erotica can be consensual, but frequently contains elements of rape. (more…)

Tidbits; All Lubes Are Not Created Equal

Lube Wall

So, the time is now for you to start thinking about lubes, lotions, and potions, because as well all know, finely tuned machines never run dry! Besides what’s wrong with a little lube to start that engine purring? NOTHING!

It’s funny how a good part of the young male population don’t think twice about this. Most are used to the o’l “spit and polish” method used in the early discoveries of what else that erection is good for, not to leave out the ever popular dry rub into a used sock. However when a partner is involved or a particular type of sex practice, you know what I am talking about, a little help is usually required! The women already know what I’m talking about here, unless you are one of those gifted with the water that runs perpetually warm and ready to dive right in. I only have one for that, lucky “BEEYOTCHES” because given my special (more…)

Reviews; Ai (formerly the Mimi) Dildo

Ai  (formerly Mimi) Made of 100% medical grade silicone, the Ai is a hand sculpted design for intense stimulation and comfort. The velvety smooth finish slides and glides when in contact with a water based lubricant or your own natural juices. This hypo-allergenic baby is safe for your body and harness compatible for use by your partner. Once in motion the smooth ridges brush your sweet spots as it slides in and out. It comes with a 30 day warranty with proof of purchase with the manufacturer and 3 lovely colours to entice you further, pink, blue, lavender.

Reviews; Evolved, All On Red

All On RedLove is back, so say the folks at Evolved and I tend to agree. The “All on Red” from the Roulette Edition is a dial up for intensity that starts off as a low hum to a high frequency roar guaranteed to deliver satisfaction for those who know what they want without all the fuss of multiple speeds and settings! Get down to it I say without any stops in between. The power comes from 2 AA batteries for a super powerful ride. Twist off the base insert your batteries and twist closed, it’s that easy. With their sleek designs, odourless body safe silicones, and phthalate free latex, the Roulette Collection is billed as 100% waterproof, although I wouldn’t go so far as to say that, but I’ll let you be the judge. All in the line come with soft, flexible, pliable shafts and tips to get those hard to reach places. These come neatly packed in their own decorative tin for travel abroad and storage at home. Each Evolved toy has a 1 year warranty with proof of purchase. The dimensions boast a length of  7.75″, a width of 1.5″ and a total weight of 15.7 oz.  So truly what are you waiting for? Get down to it!

 

 

Reviews; Jopen E3 C-Ring

e3 EGO by JOPENThe c-ring from JOPEN that appeals to both man and woman that has it’s shape, design and function to thank for. Shaped like a pretty shell, what woman wouldn’t want this gently stimulating her oyster attached to a big old sea cucumber? Ok to much campy descriptive? At any rate this little beauty truly does perform. A premium silicone, rechargeable lithium battery fully ready in 3 hours, that’s whisper quiet when in action so it doesn’t disrupt the rhythm. It plugs into your USB port for charging on the go that boasts a security travel lock. With a velvety smooth finish it is a non-porous virtually seamless finish important for use on the male sensitive parts. The LED indicator light leads the way for on/off control and incremental speed control. Easy to clean, waterproof and hypoallergenic, the manufacturers boast of durability powered by a PowerBullet. It’s for use only with a water based lubricant for prolonged care and quality control, and is recommended to wash

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Reviews; Rocks-Off Big-Boy

big boyOk boys, have I got one for you! The Big-Boy from the adventurous folks at Rocks-off. Bigger is better and this is a serious prostate vibrator for the “boys” who love their big toys. Made of 100% medical grade silicone it boasts prostate and perineum stimulation from the ridged pad that positions itself just slightly forward of your, AHEM,  butt-hole and behind your lovely sac of family jewels. Powered by the world famous removable RO-80mm Bullet, with 7 speeds it transmits pleasure throughout this puppy, to the prostate stimulating tip and down to the ridged perineum pad. It’s a hands free experience you can you lie with, sit, stand, walk or whatever, with or without a partner. It has a “grip like flexibility” easy to maneuver so it stays put once in place. The size boasts a filling 120 by 115 by 44 mm ball and 15cm girth for some truly full action! It comes with a battery, but if you need a new one just head out and puck yourself up a new “N” style power source. Easy to wash, easy to store. Even the women can use it! Have a seat anyone?

 

Reviews; Silicone Explorers

anal explorer setCute and almost cuddly in pretty pastel colours! Now who wouldn’t want a set of these from the folks at The Sinclair Institute? These little cuties fit onto the tip of your finger for easy control and easy insertion. Made of 100% medical grade silicone they are phthalate free, non-porous and ultra hygienic. They are easy to clean with mild soap and water, boiled, or placed on the top rack of your dishwasher; although the 2 latter options are a little aggressive in my opinion as a method of cleaning. For a completely different approach serve hot, heated under hot water, or chilled over ice for intensive sensory enhancement. These babies are ideal for the beginner players wishing to explore the backdoor entry for a new kind of intimacy. Don’t let the size fool you, although they are petite, first time adventurers may not enjoy the road ahead, so if this is uncharted territory take your time and explore every nook and cranny. A word of caution as with most silicone aids, use water based lubricants to prolong the life of your sweet little babies. They are just so cute you can’t afford to pass them up!

SOLD IN SETS OF TWO

Reviews; Tenga Egg

17.Tenga EggIn singles or cartons of six Tenga has the introductory masturbator for men. Billed as disposable and myself as a fan of reduce, re-use, this product challenges that ethic. A price point that is undisputed, it gets even the most experienced curious. Hard not to when you are literally looking at a carton of “eggs” six in each. That’s right, twelve in total, 6 from the COLOURS PACK, and 6 from the latest, the HARD BOILED. There’s even a LOVERS EGG neatly encased in a mat black wrap with cute little pink hearts on it for a lovers night in! Oh and my favourite, the Keith Haring art finish, a promotion of better ,safer sex everywhere! Each egg is with it’s own uniquely textured interior. Simply crack the eggshell thin plastic cover & peel the inner membrane from it’s shell. Made of “membrane thin” silicone, it comes with a one use sachet of water based lube inside a keeper tube inserted into the centre of the membrane. Open, apply the lube to your member and work the super stretchy skin over YOUR membrane, working it up and down at the fevered pitch of your choice for a climactic finish! Easy to use, easy to clean, just throw it out after use, and therein lies my problem, a lot of plastic, a lot of silicone, a lot of waste. If careful you can wash, rinse, repeat. Any woman who wears hosiery knows this from gently hand washing their delicates and hanging them out to dry. Ladies already one step ahead of the boys are flipping these yolk free lovelies inside out and over their favourite toy. You go girl! Use only water based lubricant! Unless, your up for a fast meltdown with silicone lube for some freaky fun! Give it a try!

 

Reviews; JeJoue Mimi

167. Mimi by JeJoueManufacturers are hot on the heels of the rechargeable wave, and I for one say, “why not ride it?” JeJoue is one of those companies, and I must admit were a bit slow out of the gate, but have certainly made up for lost time. They recently released a few new goodies and this one has me entranced, the JeJoue Mimi! In the shape of a flattened egg it is coated in my favourite velvety smooth finish of 100% FDA approved body safe silicone. Ultra light weight , whisper quiet, it boasts 5 vibration patterns with intensities from mild to wild giving the user endless possibilities for a stellar photo finish! Can’t argue with that! This little devil charges through a magnetic connection making it 100% waterproof and resistant. With four colours to choose from starting with luscious purple, then deep juicy pink, light candy lickable pink, and our die hard black it’s no wonder users are impressed. A  full charge offers 2 hours of pleasure after an equal charge time. Packaged ever so artfully with (more…)

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