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Fleshlight’s Freak Series and Zombie Dildo’s Just in Time For Hallowe’en and Beyond

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Since Halloween is just around the corner, my favourite time of the year, I thought it would be the ideal post to celebrate All Hallow’s Eve in sexy wacky style. Let me remind you that Wacky Wednesday was created to showcase all things wacky in the world of sex toys, and we know there is a lot. However Wacky Wednesday has also grown to include the “wild and wondrous” of the internet, showcasing creations I find in my travels in cyber land, in case you were wondering.

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As a sex toy reviewer, why not? After all it is halloween and people don’t stop fucking just cause they are handing out candy do they? I only hope they are not doing both at the same time!

Anyway………

A few years back the creators at Fleshlight came up with the idea of making “Zombie Dildos”. I loved the idea, hell they even had a series, but it seems for some unknown reason the deadly delight no longer exists as a product. I did however find a great review, in vivid detail of the rotting stiff you’ll be sure to enjoy over at  Kinky Kitten. Hopefully if enough readers write and ask, one can hope that Fleshlght will resurrect the undead dick, and find it back on store shelves soon!wacky-wednesday-Fleshlight-Freaks-dildos

However, Fleshlight is not one to disappoint, they also have in their product list, the super cool Freaks collection of masturbators for the deviant at heart. Made of their high-quality mineral oil and rubber polymers, protected by a series of U.S. patents the Freaks boast 5 ghoulish colours. As a side note, the Fleshlight material also does not contain phthalates. Phthalates  are mainly used as plasticizers—substances added to plastics to increase their flexibility, durability, and longevity.

The names say it all; Alien, Cyborg, Drac, Frankenstein, Predator, Reapor, and my faves, Zombie Lady and Zombie Mouth. Just pic your passion, or poison pussy, and get to work tricking and treating with your choice of interior.

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If your worried about discretion, the company offers privacy protection, discrete billing, and discrete shipping right to your front door! Of course this is only the tip of the iceberg as to what else Fleshlight offers. You only have to browse the site to see all the goodies.

They also give the 5 top reasons to buy a Flashlight reprinted here for your consideration.

1)You’re in control.

Whenever you want, however you like, the Fleshlight sexual gratification alternative is there to fulfill your sexual fantasies and meet your desires.

2) Nothing is closer to the real thing.

Our soft, pliable, non-vibrating SuperSkin sleeve has been designed to provide the most realistic intercourse simulation known to man.

3) Improve stamina & performance.

Whether you’re a real Casanova or just a rookie to the game, there is always room for improvement. Test your skills, practice new techniques, and test how long you can last in one of our specially designed inserts, created for maximum sensation.

4) Practice safe sex.

The Fleshlight was created, in part, to address the risks associated with promiscuity, the spread of STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), and unwanted pregnancy. Whether you’re having trouble finding a safe partner or waiting for the right one to come along, the Fleshlight offers a safe and satisfying means for expressing your sexuality.

5) Lifetime of pleasure.

With proper use and care, the Fleshlight will last you a lifetime. If only it were that easy with real sexual partners.

I’m not so sure about these top 5’s but hey who am I to judge?

Happy Halloween

Wacky Wednesday: The Titty Fuck-Her Sextoys Gone Bad

Titty Fuck-Her

As much as the packaging of this “lovely” item tries to make it look like a worthwhile product with it’s glossy exterior, and quite frankly, beautiful box, the picture smacks you right in the face.

Pipe dream’s Titty Fuck-Her, the masturbator in the shape of tits and a pussy positioned, smack dab, right between them. Can we say somewhat misogynistic with a dash of objectification?

Made of “fanta-flesh” which is actually TPR (Thermo-Plastic-Rubber): billed as the most lifelike material that mimics the look and feel of real human skin, it warms to the touch during use, is waterproof, light weight, super stretchy and soft.

In the box you get a bottle of “moist” lube, cleaner, a bottle revive to bring back to life the fanta flesh, and a bullet with a remote control.Titty Fuck-Her2

However, I still couldn’t stop laughing at the picture on the box, and couldn’t believe that such a product design actually existed!!! Please don’t tell me a woman came up with this design? So, I let my curiosity get the better of me and had to take a look inside. Curiosity that should’ve killed this cat! LMAO! (more…)

Wacky Wednesday: Bonnie Rotton Mega Masturbator

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Misogynistic at it’s best! Feature this lovely one that leaves me wondering who the hell comes up with these designs? Ok I get the idea of masturbators, and the crazy array of designs out there, which for the most part I find seriously fun, and humorous, but like I’ve said before many leave me scratching my head in disbelief trying not to formulate an opinion. This one, I have to say, is seriously fucked! I don’t know how else to describe it.bonnie rotton

Here is how Sexcitable describes this lovely piece of work; (more…)

Wacky Wednesday: Kaylani’s Wicked Foot Masturbator With XXX DVD

Kaylani's Wicked Foot Masturbator

Billed as;

Heel, toe, 1-2-3! Kaylani’s Foot Fetish Masturbator is a deliciously kinky toy.

A velveteen pussy in the sole of the petite foot provides an incredibly lifelike sensation, with textured shaft.

Finished with toes with ruby red nails.

Ok WTF!

As a person that revels in the bizarre, there are quite a few things out there I find just stupid and useless, designed, for lack of better terminology, to suck the money out of some of those dumb-assed idiots out there in sex-toy porn land! (more…)

Wacky Wednesday: Vajankle

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So, yet again, it appears that folks will fuck just about anything with a hole that looks like a pussy and then again things that don’t look like a pussy. I’ve heard a lot of fun crazy shit that’s put a smile on my face and some that have elicited a good head shake, but I’m not here to judge!

If your a foot fetishist then maybe this one is for you! The folks at VICE have written quite an interesting little ditty on that one.

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