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Body Dysmorphia For This Weeks Tidbits

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Recently I was accused of having body dysmorphia “issues”. 

Wikipedia classifies Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a mental disorder characterized by an obsessive preoccupation that some aspect of one’s own appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it.[1] In BDD’s delusional variant, the flaw is imagined.[2] If the flaw is actual, its importance is severely exaggerated.[2] Either way, one’s thoughts about it are pervasive and intrusive, occupying up to several hours a day.

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and the definition goes on……..

Let’s just say that I thought the statement was somewhat humorous, and a completely stupid accusation!

For those that know me, and those that know me well that the statement is so far from the truth I just don’t know where to begin refuting it, so much so that I won’t. What strikes me is the need for these types of individuals to get in my face and declare they know me better than my own self. If we look at Wikipedia’s definition closely and that of other classifications, it would suggest that I spend hours a day occupying my time over what I construe as flaws, again I cannot begin to start where this is so wrong!

tidbits-body-dysmorphia-3My day starts by getting up, having breakfast, heading to the gym, and then getting dressed to tackle the rest. I knew and know what I didn’t like about myself, and I got on with correcting those issues, not obsessing to the point of being able to function. I do my maintenance regimes, eat right, take care of of my health, and if need be, have a few “treatments” here and there. I’ve worked at my appearance, and I’m rather proud of it! I made the decisions, I did the work, did what I wanted, and at 52 I think I’ve got it down pat for what the rest of what my life looks like.

What I do want to present here is the general tone and attitude of the individual that made the statement to me, and I’m going to say this, an attitude of jealousy and laziness. In this instance I considered the source, and it wasn’t pretty! Call me shallow, call me esoteric, call me a bitch, but honey, effort is required by everyone to look how you want! Again taking the words of Helena Rubinstein; “There are no ugly women, just lazy ones!” and how right she was. This statement so profound, even applies to the men out there.

Everyone I know does something to themselves for their own particular reasons, and that’s what makes them individuals, unique and beautiful unto themselves, which is for the most part why I LOVE all the people I know.

People getting tattooed, pierced, branded, augmented, reduced, cosmetically treated, working out at the gym, hair done, make-up used, clothes bought, it all plays into appearances, appearances I relish and support.

It made me wonder, does this individual say anything to those outside of my world, the world of the gender variant, transgender, transsexual, non-binary groupings? For some reason I believe they don’t, that would be to easy, and it would play on stereotyping, and isn’t that what this person just did to me? Me as a woman with a transsexual medical history, I was just stereotyped for wanting to look a certain way?

I look how I crafted myself, no one told me how to look or be, and in the end the statement made me laugh to myself and think, quite frankly, go fuck yourself! I’m happy with what I’m doing and where I’m going and no one will tell me different.tidbits-body-dysmorphia-4

How’s that for a little rant?

Sexy This Week: The Beauty of Ages

Carmen Dell'orefice

As time ticks on, so do we and in the words of a David Bowie song

“Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time”

Poetic words to live by and let’s be honest we are all fighting it to some degree, and if not gracefully, then pretty damn ugly. I am no “negative nelly” when it comes to having the services of a cosmetic surgeon attend to my upkeep, hell no! I am all for it, but there are definitely times when going overboard looks as though you’ve been out to sea for months on end, stranded by yourself in a dingy with nothing else but you and your urine. In other words a hot mess!!

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Tidbits; Shit, Shower, and a Shave

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I’ve been asked the question; “what do you do to keep looking the way you do?” many times, and I’ve gone through the answer at great length many times, so I thought I would share a little bit of that here.

Looking and feeling good takes time and effort, so yes, it does bother me when folks tell me; “it’s easy for you to get up and look they way you do!”, another statement I get a lot of. Well let me tell you, just like everyone else, I have to get up in the morning and do the proverbial shit, shower and shave! I apologize for the crass description, but it’s a saying we’ve all heard many times before and is the perfect way to describe it.

Agreed, good genetics do a play a part, but for me, cosmetically, I’ve also done a few things along the way to look the way I want by improving on what I was given at birth. These are things that I chose to do, not anyone else, I am my own mind and body able to make my own decisions. (more…)