He forced  himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins  next to a glass of water on the side table.  And, next to them, a single  red rose!!

He sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all  cleaned and pressed! He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect  order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the  aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the  bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror  written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in  lipstick: ‘Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to  make you your favorite dinner tonight.  I love you, darling! Love,  Jillian’

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot  breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His 16 year old  son is also at the table, eating.  Jack asks, ‘Son.what happened last  night?’

‘Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind you  fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and  got that black eye when you ran into the door.’
Confused, he asked his son,  ‘So, why is everything in such perfect order and so  clean?  I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for  me??’

His son replies, ‘Oh THAT… Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and  when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, ‘Leave me alone bitch, I’m  married!!’

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast  $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the Right thing, at the Right time:  PRICELESS

Ok So It May Not Be A Set You Will See On The Shelf Anytime Soon…..

But One Can Hope!

Ok well it may not be me but..

enough of my friends are calling

to say that it is a pretty good likeness

complete with white gooey stuff, trademark grin, and well boobs boobs boobs!

And look at his eyes!!

To virginal or not?

A little versatility never hurt….

from the makers of Tactical Corsets I just can’t believe I went this long without one

“>

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”
“Eight,” the boy replied.
The man continued, “do you know what these are used for?”
The boy replied, “not exactly, but they aren’t for me.  They’re for him.  He’s my brother.  He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike.  Right now, he can’t do either.”

Therese Aldgard

MMMMMMMMMM!

Inspired by;

AGENT PROVOCATUER

BETSEY JOHNSON

CHANEL

CHRISTIAN LOUBOUTIN

LOUIS VUITTON

I wanna eat!!

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